Smile Always, Laugh Often

I found this while surfing the web the other day. I've read it three times now and have died laughing each time

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)
1) Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
5) Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
12) staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
15) Great... Fa Kin Su Pah

Grow up, but seriously...

I've come to the conclusion that my peers are lacking couth when it comes to dating. This post is more of a survey. I will share my opinion, but I really want to know what you think.

This generation of dating has inserted a stage of the relationship that previously did not exist. This stage is often called the "talking/texting" stage. It involves exchanging phone numbers and getting to know someone through mindless, flirty text messages that are often filled with too many smiley faces and lol's. How well can you really get to know someone when you know each person is spending an ungodly amount of time composing the perfect message that will make them seem as witty and charming as possible. We have killed the tradition of dating and it is extremely disappointing. I'm getting off topic, I'll get back to business...

My issue with dating right now is the inability for my peers to tell someone that they are no longer interested in continuing whatever they have started. If you're not interested in someone, the mature thing to do [in my opinion] is to tell them. There is a polite way of doing this. An example would be...

Hey, I think you're really great. But I'm sorry, I'm just not interested.

You don't owe them any further explanation. And trying to be polite by responding to their texts or phone calls is simply leading them on. The polite thing to do is to tell them that you are not into it.

Point of my story: Don't lead people on and definitely don't avoid them. You will run into them at some point, and you don't want to spend your time dodging people that you've hurt. Don't be the jackass that led him/her on or the bitch that quit calling without notice. Be the classy guy/girl that had enough couth to tell the truth even if it stung a little.

What if you start liking one of their friends? They might put in a good word for you by saying, "oh they're a great person, I really liked them, but things didn't work out." That's much better than being the sketchball, trust me.

Let me know what you think...

Stepsisters

What a girl wants...

We went to Mexico Joe's yesterday. Yes, seven of us piled into the car despite the strong warnings from the weathermen to stay at home. A little snowstorm can't stop my friends from indulging in Stillwater's finest white queso and homemade tortillas. I looked around the table and realized that all of my friends were in fact single. I'm not 100 percent positive, but I would make a very large wager that the Alpha Chi Omega will not see a candle light during this school year. I keep hearing about the countless engagements that are blossoming around campus, but there will be no such celebrations at the Alpha Chi.

However happy we are for all these "lucky" ladies who have found their "prince charming" "soul mate" or "other half," we cannot help but be skeptical of these so called "happy endings." Over the past year, we have witnessed these "prince charmings" acting not so charming. Cheating and infidelity seems to have become an epidemic across campus. The symptoms are highly contagious and include, but not are limited to:
1. inappropriate text messages late at night
2. inappropriate text messages during the day
3. drunk texts such as: "im hammered, come over"
4. sober texts such as: "I promise, we broke up." only to see them on a date later that day
5. whispered conversations in the corner of Murphy's, damn those palm trees
6. buying girls drinks who aren't their girlfriend
this list goes on...and on....and on....

These are just a few of the side effects of the disease. Some experience only one, while others have a more serious case and have been diagnosed as terminal and end up following through with their suggestive behavior.

So this makes me believe, that I actually may be the "lucky" lady after all. And that my friends are actually the smart ones who realize that boys our age aren't ready for marriage. They make great friends, and fun make-out buddies, but nothing more. I wish it wasn't true, but these boys have proven time and time again that they can't be trusted.

You can call me a cynic, but I don't believe in love at our age. Most relationships are driven by lust, convenience, or both. At this point in our lives, we need to figure out who we are, and adding another person to the mix will simply skew the conclusion.

My friends do sometimes stumble, and we do run back to our ex's occasionally. It's comfortable, easy, and convenient. But time and time again, we realize that even though the two puzzle pieces fit together nice and snug, the picture on them doesn't match. It takes a lot of maturity and gumption to avoid such relationships, but this is why I highly respect my friends decisions to be single.

Recently, my friend ended a very serious relationship that was making her left ring finger burn. She took a closer look at her puzzle of a relationship, and realized that the picture that had been created was vastly different from the puzzle of her dreams. I have gained an enormous amount of respect for this "lucky" lady. This is the type of gumption and maturity that I admire. Although she won't be hearing any wedding bells this year, she will someday find a puzzle piece that is a perfect fit and creates the beautiful picture that she deserves.

Two thousand Ten shall begin

I've been chatting with one of my favorite people. He might be the one of the goofiest people I know, but he is magnificently charming and I value his opinion dearly. After talking to him, all I can think about is New Years and relationships (or lack there of)

In 2010: I will graduate, I will turn 23, I will hopefully follow through with my new years resolutions, and I will begin the next stage of my life. Those things, I could care less about right now. I want to have one hell of a night on the 31st. Hopefully meet a total stranger to kiss on New Years, and hopefully never have to run into them again. And hopefully that stranger is not someone that one of my friends has a history with, because that would be my luck.

As for relationships, I'm 100% content with being single. Although many associate the word single with being lonely, I, on the other hand do not. Single, Singular. One. Yes, all you have to think about is yourself and what's going to make YOU happy. It's rather liberating, not at all lonely. If you are lonely, find some friends.

Dear New Years, I need one drama free, crazy good time. Please try hard. Thanks.

Royal Mess-ups

Speechless. It's a problem that I rarely face, but presently, this problem is overwhelming me. I've been trying to come up with a certain set of words for a few weeks now. A certain set of words that I know are going to hurt someone that I care about. I know that after I compose these words, the pain that they will cause my friend will also hurt me.

I have spent the last few weeks in a war with my conscience. My head is telling me to do one thing, my heart agrees, but the huge serving of guilt that has been settling in my stomach has kept me from doing the right thing.

Since I didn't follow what my head and heart have been telling me to do, which is come clean with the truth, I have "royally messed-up." I don't deserve to call this person my friend, because I didn't treat them like one.

I owe them an explanation a.s.a.p. The words "I'm sorry" never seem to be enough. I love my life, and I try to not make regrets, but if I regret anything it would be the friendships I've lost over the years.

I'm trying to calculate the words. I'm working on it, but until then all I can say is "I'm sorry." Karma is coming to kick me in the butt, if it makes you feel better.

"DTR"

DTR. These three letters send people over the edge. For those of you who are illiterate to 21st century jargon, DTR is the code word for "defining the relationship." Usually boys avoid the "DTR" talk like the plague, but my friends may be worse than boys. There is something ridiculously scary about the words "committed" or "monogamous" or "taken."

Even if you're absolutely crazy about someone, being 100% committed to a relationship causes a little heartburn. The word single just sounds so inviting, adventurous, and mysterious. The options are endless. Being in a relationship sounds so predictable and boring.

My friend (we'll refer to her as the Perpetual Postponer from now on, because she is notorious for dodging the DTR) has essentially been committed to a certain boy for almost a semester now. She hasn't been looking for any other prospects and spends an abundance of time with this one certain boy that she claims to not be committed to. So what's stopping her? Letting go of being single may be worse than breaking up with someone. It's a lifestyle change, and frankly it's just intimidating. I don't think miss Perpetual Postponer will be able to postpone the DTR much longer, so we'll see how the girlfriend shoe fits her.

Politics

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to dad.

'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.